20 February 2013.
There are some mornings when you just wake up cribbing. Every single thing about the day is wrong. It is raining outside, it is gloomy inside. You don’t want to get out of bed, but you can’t stay in either.
You have nothing to say and so you keep quiet. The people around you wonder what’s wrong when the usually talkative mouth offers monosyllabic replies. You wonder at it yourself! The clouds part and let the sun rays filter through….but that has nil effect too. It all feels wrong…this idleness, this stack of pending work next to you, this utter lethargy seeping through. The mind is bombarding you with lists of Things to do; some more interesting than the others….and yet the body refuses to cooperate.
As of now, all I feel like doing…is sit by the window, put my feet up, grab a mug of coffee and watch the world pass by 🙂
I’ve done enough rushing on my own. Today, even the smile takes a break.
3 February 2013.
Distance is just a concept. Before I travelled so many miles away, I was of the opposite opinion too. But a few months on this side of the world and the mind is forced to take a different perspective. All that hype about distance creating a gap between people and adding a crack in relationships, it’s all crap.
Because when you really care, no distance is too long. When someone on the other side of the world still looks out for you, the computer screen becomes a friend and the mobile phone an amazing companion. It’s not such a bad thing, this Distance. It allows you to let down your defences and really explore yourself. Overlook the perfections and find the flaws. Work on those flaws until you can step back and look yourself proudly in the mirror. And all the while, there are friends still calling out. People whose lives still include me, whose lives still involve me. The Gossip still finds its way to my ears and the problems still find my shoulder. The only difference this Distance really makes? The physical presence. The feeling of having someone besides you and just enjoying it. The silent assurance down the phone is just not enough. But yes the feeling of picking up the phone and picking up the threads of conversation from where you last left them, when you walked away…..now that feeling is out of this world!
To all those who mourn at Distance, take a look at the distant horizon. All those familiar faces and places are still there…just a look away. Waiting for you, watching for you 🙂
2 February 2013.
An electric kind of happiness runs through me today. Since childhood, I have been crazy about the sun. So when England decides to allow a little sunshine in its day, it is Heaven on Earth! Off come the sweaters and on come the ‘glares’…! Such a day deserves an outing; wherever whenever.
Everything around looks so different, so ‘ illuminated’. There is warmth in the air and spreading all around too. Strangers share a smile and the bus is filled with chatter. Funny what the sun can do. It got me thinking about how the weather influences us in such little ways. When the clouds appear in the sky, the gloom spreads over all the people beneath it. And when it rains, sadness pervades all around. People weep and literally. I come from the land of sunshine and never have I felt more grateful for it. Until now, the sun was something I took for granted but come England and I began to count my blessings. The soaring, searing temperatures of the hottest regions in India are welcome now.
But when in England, do as the Engalnd-ers 😛 So on with the sweaters and up go the umbrellas. Wrap that scarf lest a chill catches you. But just for now, just for today……good morning, sunshine 🙂
31 January 2013.
It is a relief to write at times. When millions of words are crowding inside your head and crying for a way out. But open your mouth and they all tumble out wrong. Keeping them in a safe option…but then again, not advised for your sanity. The words flit in within, driving me crazy….and then the fingers overpower that restlessness. They type as fast as possible…
The New Year is already 1 month down. February starts off from tomorrow and I chalk up another month in my series of London I(s). I am 4 months old already, and the glamour is fading out. The dust of habit is fast settling in and it feels like I’ve lived here all my life. Funny how getting used to any environment seems matter of fact within days. Oh all that fuss about ‘staying alone’. Cooking isn’t such a challenge, banks aren’t such a mystery and self-entertainment is a skill worth perfecting. In a manner of speaking, the months have rushed past…and yet each day has dragged on. Some nights I’ve just been glad to chalk off yet another day and at other times, there was no keeping tab on how the week was over and gone already.
Tonight is one of those nights when I am simply glad the day is over. It has been tiring but it has been boring. I have given myself company and I just want to escape from myself. Run up the hill and into the woods…to scream out loud. Feel alive and not alone.
Or maybe I can just write it right….and save myself 🙂