26 March 2014.
The summer breeze was lifting his hair softly, playing with it and bringing it to rest as he chatted with me. Those silky locks of hair distracted me and I smiled to myself.
For years I have been sitting across him. The lines on his face have changed, matured and yet his smile hasn’t changed a bit. The delicious laughter that spreads through him each time he enjoys a private joke; that slight nodding of head as he chats to himself. I sit there, lost in thought even while he tells me about his day. I know that face, those hand gestures and those reactions like the back of my hand…I’ve known him that long! And yet today it seems like it’s the first time I’ve met him.
As he teases me and laughs not just at me but with me, my heart flutters with happiness. Sheer satisfaction, utter bliss…
Caught up in a reverie of love, I lock eyes with my best friend. Life has been a roller coaster ride with him, scary at times, thrilling otherwise. I’ve screamed but with his hand holding mine tightly. He bores me sometimes and yet boring is exciting with him. Today sitting across him, I look back at the 7 years gone past. How Life has changed and how it has blossomed.
All that love, laughter and so much more…I O it to U! ❤
7 March 2014
The Jiah Khan suicide case was in the papers again a few days ago. Despite myself, I found myself reading that article…that and around hundred odd suicide reports that spread over a few sheets of paper, within a short span of time. I wouldn’t say I’m interested, but intrigued I definitely am.
What compels a person to end his/her own life? What went so wrong that even the morning light began to seem too harsh for their eyes?
I know it’s easy to stand by the sidelines and comment. To sympathise but never truly understand. How each night’s loneliness begins to gnaw away at happiness. How each achievement seems worthless without timely approval. How the stress to fit in actually pushes someone towards a final exit. How even dreams turn into ashes without a dreamer crazy enough.
I’ve been on the receiving end of suicide news’ before. I know I’ll remain on its receiving end. But I wish in some way I could try and convey this to anyone even remotely contemplating on this being the solution to any problem…
That the patience of another day might have turned your world around.
That a little less fear and a little more assertiveness might have turned a rejection into acceptance.
That no problem is too big and no solution too small. That nothing is impossible actually.
That there is a light shining, at the end of each tunnel. Bringing in a little warmth through all that dampness.
The light is there because someone cares.
Because someone somewhere finds sunrise in your smile. Seeks solace in your company and forgoes all sorrow in the light of your sole happiness.
The light is burning while hands protect it from wind. Lend a hand, don’t be the puff of wind…
Let Nature takes its course, don’t hurry the process because you’re tired.
For the sake of a life waiting to be lived, die another day…
1 March 2014.
Dinner is over, sleep is slowly making its presence felt just as I feel my phone burst into that familiar Pirates of the Caribbean ringtone. A disgruntled me forces an eye open (I had been catching my forty winks before the actual stupor hit me!). Our first photo together flashes on the screen and a smile automatically writes itself on my face.
It’s that time of the week, it’s that time of the night. Dinner is done, the utensils are all washed. The laptop is playing a movie in the background but the focus is on us. Slouched at the dining table, slumped against it; capturing the big soft sofa and not letting go of the chair at the same time!!
I need her there, a witness to my life. Patiently hearing me yak about life and consistently reminding me of how I should learn to also shut up and listen. After almost 365 nights of regular sleepovers, the first night I spent alone was scary. My perfect roomie, my best enemy and my worst friend! She complements me, she criticises me and yet she not just tolerates me but actually loves me!
Today I hear her voice across the country and I feel a great urge to tell her how much I miss having her around. How much a house, any house somehow seems incomplete without her presence. How the kitchen erupts into aroma once she decides to ‘feed me something’. How she mimics people and makes me laugh but also quickly shifts into the Psychologist mode when I need a listening ear. She’s heard me out without ever actually writing me a cheque…but today I want to attempt to start paying her debt.
Mere zindagi ke Nukks nikalke 😉 Because Life will always remain incomplete without you to dance with and you to sing with and you to just gossip with..!!
It’s been a journey, travelling from the same country, landing up in the same house, sharing the same philosophies of life and yet being so different from each other!
Tonight, I just feel like saying…
I miss having you around. I miss running up the stairs to tell you something absolutely irrelevant. I miss you with your terrible TV serials and with your horribly good advice.
That’s just what I wished to say actually. That I miss you!