24 February 2015.
An expression of thought long overdue. A menagerie of feelings that broke out in the month of December and that still rear their head to the surface once a while. I call it a menagerie because that’s exactly what it is…a collection of chaos; exotic, noisy and colourful.
I am spread out on the sofa, almost falling off the edge with sleep while I attempt to type this. I am in such a state because my husband and I have just got back to regular (albeit not rigorous) exercise. Which means waking up early. Which means wrapping up cooking breakfast and lunch in record time. Which means rushing home from office, already sleepy but thinking of dinner. And which also means struggling to clean up for the day but already dreading waking up early the next day.
I hate early mornings and I hate spending more than 5 minutes in the kitchen. And yet right now, I am surrounded by nothing but.
Life changed for me in many ways than expected the day I got married. In good ways and in slightly less good ways 😉 And yet, the marriage ‘wows’ are always round the corner.
The laughter, the discovery, the sense of building up a home and a family together are experiences too difficult to capture in words. But yet, I will try…
Because on the last night in my own house and bed, I was apprehensive of how I’d manage. And almost 3 months later, I can’t believe I was nervous about this!!
Marriage, they say, is difficult. I have always wondered what could possibly be so difficult about living with a loved one? Oh, except the irritating habits, the differing palates, wishing to watch different channels in the same timeslot, absolutely extreme bedtimes,……….If you leave aside those points, not much difficult, eh? I realise suddenly my mind has 2 voices – one that’s me, and one that belongs to my husband. (By the way, it’s still a difficult yet fascinating term to utter – my husband!) Trying to find a golden middle of two perfectly opposite individuals is a task I’d never thought I’d undertake. And yet, this tightrope walk is something I do every single day. It seems like I am fast managing to keep my balance though, for the fallouts are less and the cheering is louder.
Marriage, they say, is wonderful. Well, try saying that when we’ve walked away from each other with sour expressions and tempers flaring. Wonderful, my foot…..oh hang on, is that for me? You did it for me? *huge grin* How wonderful!!
Marriage, they say, is a rollercoaster ride. Well, I’m on it, with my seat belt on and the food churning dangerously in my stomach. One wrong twist and it’s the worst thing to have happened. One exhilarating moment and getting married was the best decision ever.
They say so much about marriage…and I am realising its truth every single day. But there are a few truths I have discovered for myself…
Marriage, I say, is trying to catch up on sleep through endless traffic noises even in the wee hours.
Marriage, I say, is a trek through fresh snow. Tiring but a test of determination, endurance and patience.
Marriage, I say, is accepting that your hours of efforts in the kitchen are wasted in a second simply because you chose to cook capsicum.
Marriage, I say, is watching Crime Patrol and terrifying the life out of me. Slowing down the vehicle in front of dogs and buses and again scaring the shit out of me.
But Marriage is also cooking delicious butter chicken and being the better dinner host than me. Staying awake just to keep me company even while struggling to keep eyelids open. Yelling at me yet always helping me straighten out my mistakes. Saying You are Angry but sneaking in a mischievous smile as well..!
Marriage is a little Oww and a little Wow. That’s all I say… 🙂