7 August 2017
When you are born an Indian, you grow up accustomed to a crowd. Be it at your local supermarket or while waiting in the enquiry queues at Government offices; if there is one thing we as Indians cannot escape, it is people. And people by the dozens!
Little wonder then that families aren’t an exception to this rule. But with today’s fast – paced and ‘busy’ lifestyles, we tend to hole up in our own spaces. And hate it if asked to share that precious privacy that is solely ours, at the end of each hectic day. A colleague muttered on his way out of office today, “This is all I do, rush from this place to that; find myself trapped amidst the hands of a clock! I don’t seem to have any time for myself!!” That is exactly how each week pans out for so many of us. It is not surprising then that we prefer to just enjoy the silence of our nuclear homes rather than setting foot out into the maddening crowd!
It was just another Monday morning that I woke up to. A Friendship Day Sunday was just past, and though I had been overwhelmed with emotion toward all my friends, I had preferred to maintain a rather low profile. Talking over the phone seemed to be a little too much, texting them seemed much too distant. I shot off some quick “Same to you” messages, but my mind carried over a slight regret on to the next day. Ironically, the next day was a day dedicated to brothers. So yet another wave of emotion and yet another “I’ll talk to them later tonight” excuse to drown it.
Luckily for me, this time someone else took matters in hand, and decided that tonight will literally mean ‘tonight’, for once. A relative had taken the initiative of inviting all of us over for the Rakhi celebration. We cousins always make it a point to meet up on this day, but we never make it to everyone’s houses. So although we do keep up with the tradition, it is still as ‘nuclear’ as it can get! However, this time after a really long time, it was the Kanetkars (and the additions and modifications!) under one roof for an entire evening!
It was with tremendous excitement that I finished up at office that day, and made my way to the relative’s house. Some of the family had already gathered and enthusiastic hellos welcomed us in. People kept coming in over the next hour, and soon we were switching places and accommodating everyone that came in. In a sudden moment of nostalgia, I caught myself looking around and realising that as a family, we had lost some but we had also gained some. Where once we were the ones being the centre of attention, causing all our parents to come rushing behind us; we were now running behind our niece. In narrating to her our childhood stories, we relived them once again. In sharing with her our favourite spots as children, we visited them once again. In helping her discover new relations, we acknowledged them once again. And in seeing her build new memories, we walked down our own memory lanes yet again.
As 4 generations sat down to share dinner that night, I realised that the Kanetkars at no. 39 had spread themselves all over the world in the past few years. Our surnames had changed and so had our preferences. But none of that seemed to have affected our excited chatter that evening. There was no awkwardness, but only a deep sense of security that comes from being a family.
And at that moment, it felt like no matter how many friendships you may build over the years, there is something about family that will always makes you feel ‘at home’…No matter how much the crowd, you will never once feel lost in it!